I Told You So – Ask Sue

Oct 9th, 2012 | By | Category: Misc

I’m here, Greensboro.  I’m finally here.

I told the Avant Greensboro people that I wanted to write an advice column for the site two months ago. I gave my friend Reba some advice about a fellow she was dating, and she said I should have an advice column. I told her I agreed.  I should. I made an e-card with a slice of my advice to her, and placed it upon her social networking page in an unsubtle attempt to relay the same thought to the fellow in her courtship.


The fellow became her boyfriend overnight. Many yips, cheers and claps were had by a select few.

I’ve given lots of good advice, lots of times.

Do I sound like an elitist self-righteous tail-hole for saying that? Yes, a little. But it’s true. As a friend and bartender, my opinion has been sought on variances from abortion and divorce to gift-giving and flirtation methods. I’ve been able to say “I told you so,” a good many times to people who’ve related woes, trials, and tribulations, who have either taken or not taken my advice. I’ve had many woes, trials, and tribulations of my own; I have certainly made more than a couple hundred dumb decisions. I’ve learned so many lessons from screwing up, I easily process and peel off priceless little nuggets of advice. That’s right, folks, priceless. I’m not charging you for these little gems of reason. You’re getting a good deal. I’ve slung beers and advice over the counter top for years; now I’ll spew it for free. Why?

I’m passionate for you, man. I’m passionate. I want you to do the right thing. I want life to work for you, just like I want it to work for me. So ask me something. I’ll give you a solid option to weigh in on.

Not sure yet? Yes, I can understand. Why should you be convinced that my advice is worthy of seeking, and why the hell should you care what I have to say anyway? You don’t know me. I’m a nobody to you. You don’t know anything about me. Those are reasons in themselves that allow me equilibrium in advising on personal and conflicting matters.

Should you need further convincing of my quality: I am a person, a baby sister. I am a mother, a name giver. I am a musician. I’m a preacher’s daughter; my Daddy is a good old man, my Mama loves me. I am broke and I am broken but I am hopeful. I am a procrastinator, it is a prevalent flaw. I am often awkward, but most people like me. I am passionate; the grapevine tells me someone thought I blew up their Mercedes Benz. I’m probably depressed, but I won’t take medicine for that. I lend a good ear; one sticks out real far. I keep secrets 98% of the time. I’ve ignored my intuition enough that I have become heartbroken with life. I’ve realized where I’ve gone wrong. I haven’t taken my own advice, and it’s gotten me in a heap full of turd-sloshings. I could easily be a wasted talent. I realize tomorrow is slipping away, and I’ve got to tape myself together now to make something of life. Let me advise you, lest you make your hair gray as mine with too many bad decisions. No well-rounded advice ever came from someone who hadn’t learned their own lessons, and I’ve learned mine sometimes four or five times over.

Ask me anything. Please. I’m ready for the offering. Who’s got a quandary out there? Need directions? Wondering what to cook tonight? Need a good way to tell someone they suck? Figuring on what to do with that unplanned pregnancy? Should you turn left or right? Ask me. Ask me anything. Ask away. Don’t leave me dry.

Ask SueHelp needed,

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12 Comments to “I Told You So – Ask Sue”

  1. sean coon says:

    how are you so awesome?

    • suzanne says:

      Ha. Well, yeah. I been a good hearted woman in love with a faint hearted man. Make that a past tense statement and multiply it a few times over and what you have left is a single Sue with lessons learned.

  2. Donna says:

    I'm 30 something and single. I want to date, but I feel like I've tapped out all the local resources. Or, you know, the guys all around UNCG are too young or too aimless. I've decided that the only options for me are crazy cat lady or moving. Is there any local hope?

  3. Billy Jones says:

    This should be interesting to watch. I hope you get some great questions.

    It's funny how we get to where we are, I spent my life avoiding the very things I became… But it's okay, my loss is Greensboro's gain. I have knowledge and resources the young men can only dream of. Sadly, the money never came and the body went away.

  4. Billy Jones says:

    PS. As I wrote in one of my personal blogs this morning "We were all dumb once. The smart ones are only dumb once."

    It was actually inspired by helping others with problems with their motorcycles that could have been easily avoided but it seems to apply to most things.

  5. blog car says:

    I was very happy to find this web-site.I wished to thanks on your time for this glorious read!! I positively having fun with each little little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.

    • Sue says:

      Thank you so much. Hopefully it won't take several blue moons for me to find a long enough space of time for me to write a thoughtful piece of advice. So far there's been one blue moon.

  6. Ross says:

    So I've been waiting a month for a straight up, no chaser advice column and am totally bummed that there isn't one yet. Have readers not hit you up with burning questions about love and/or facing the postmodern dilemma? Here are a few: "How do you get serious in a relationship without getting too serious? What is the best place in Greensboro to hook up? How do you know when you should settle down? How do I know if she's 'the one'?" C'mon! I absolutely love advice columns! To be fair, if you write another article I will too. Suzanne, please tell us so.

    • Sue says:

      Ross. Ross, Ross, Ross. Ross. The swing has yet to hit me. The pendulum has yet to ding. A resolution for my new year: stop procrastinating. Advice that could come quickly, pours slow as molasses. A resolution for my new year: get up off my ass(es).

  7. Rick says:

    I really enjoy your writing style …Sue, hopefully your advice op will move up higher on the page.
    We are told that online dating is the new rage, but so is online dating lying. What do you think a person should do to prevent as much of the online dating deception as possible ? I sure have had it happen to me!!! Almost every time a certain critical part of the story was left out, only to be discovered when you had the actual meeting.
    Sometimes weeks later.

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